I finally decided to check out Bob Dylan's new album, Christmas In the Heart, which I've heard a ton about but managed not to hear since its release back in mid-October. After spending the better part of the morning with the 15-track collection of holiday tunes, I have to say it's everything I imagined it would be - mostly hilarious, mildly painful, and pretty much the opposite of your new favorite Christmas album. We all know Dylan currently sounds like he's on a regimen of thrice-daily glass-gargling, so the record mostly comes off as novelty - a beloved and silly-voiced cartoon character taking on classics like "Hark, The Herald Angels Sing" and "Adeste Fideles" to ridiculous results. The lilting sweetness of a chorus of female singers in the background only serves to underscore the garish rasp of his vocals, as he croons so earnestly it's impossible not to giggle - or wonder how seriously he's taking this album himself.
But the laughs wear thin, the charm fades, and you're left with a collection of songs you really don't feel like listening to again. BUT - like sparkly tinsel caught in the rapidly browning branch of a dead pine tree - there are brilliant surprises to be discovered here. On "Christmas Island," Dylan does the Andrews Sisters staple justice - it's silly and light-hearted, and that silliness means you don't feel nearly as awkward as his gravel grinds across the surface of the track. But the real highlight here is the gem that is "Must Be Santa" - a gem so bright, in fact, that I'm almost certain it will be included in my Christmas playlists for years and years to come.
First comes the rollicking polka of the accordion, then the quick and punchy call-and-response lyrics, then the infectious refrain that zooms straight out of your childhood. It's cartwheeling and goofy and so entirely and completely perfect that you're shocked this brilliant pairing didn't happen until 2009. It's an absolute party of a song, and it leaves you blinking and dazed and delightfully bewildered.
Bob Dylan - "Must Be Santa"
And there's a video! Nothing could have captured delightful bewilderment more perfectly than dancing, a chase scene, and a differently-hatted Dylan at every turn (with alarming-looking hair - he looks like Tom Petty in that "Don't Come Around Here No More" video). Merry Christmas to ME.
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